Be That Guy! (or Girl!)

Be That Guy!

Yes, be that guy! (or girl) in the sense of being the person you want to be.

I don’t mean in a new age, woo-woo manner (though there’s nothing wrong with that either!) What I mean is taking the time to define who and what you want to be in your best role or current role.

How do you see yourself at the moment?

A simple analogy: look in a mirror. Do you like what you see? This doesn’t mean you need to hate what you see or what you are. Just look and see what you’d like to change.

If you don’t think the shirt goes with the dress, change one of them. If you need a new hairstyle, go to a hairdresser.

Now work on the real you: do you get angry easily? How can you address that?

When you give presentations, are you cool and calm and enjoy the process or are you all nerves and flustered? How can you address that?

How do you talk to yourself? Are you encouraging yourself or berating yourself? How can you address that?

There is a saying to “find the job you love”. If you have done that, greatI If not, great: “love the job you find!”

More importantly, “love the ‘you’ you find!”

The ball is in your court.

And here’s a simple way to start moving further along the achievement line.

Grab a piece of paper.

Step One: List down up to 5 things you really want to address.

Step Two: Now pick one of those items you’d like to work on first (or select the one that will provide you the biggest improvement)

Step Three: Using the item you have selected list down up to 3-5 things about it that you do well, or want to do well. For example, if you selected “talk well to yourself”, what 5 things could you do (or are doing) that supports the notion of you being productive?

Step Four: Looking at those 5 items, select one that will give you the biggest bang for your buck.

Write that one down, or highlight it.

Here’s the fun part:

Step Five: Action: What will you do, each day, to develop that item?

Working example:

List 5 things you want to improve on: presentation skills, meditation, pause before reacting, highlight strengths of others, reflect gratitude

Choose Meditation/Mindfulness

List 3-5 things you do, or want to do, that will help you be more mindful: start mediating in the morning, read books on the benefits of mindfulness, write “be more mindful” in a conspicuous place, remove distractions (social media?)

Biggest bang: start meditating in the morning – will set me up for the day as well as reducing social media in the morning (double win!)

Action: segment my morning routine to allow 10 minutes for meditating, download an app, add to calendar.

While the process above may appear simple, the critical factor is moving towards being the person you want to be.

Following something relatively simple like this will help you see progress and, if you miss an opportunity, you will be able to quickly get back on track.

Change Win-Lose to Win-Learn

No-one likes losing. I don’t! I generally feel like I’ve take a step backwards. Those I work with may have lost a little faith.

Maybe. Maybe not.

I think it’s apocryphal but if it took 10,000 failures for Edison to invent the light bulb, noting each time that, “well, that didn’t work”, and then “that didn’t work” – 10,000 times, it was all learning, not losing.

More recently, a product called WD-40, has that name because the first 39 versions did not achieve what the creators were developing! (HT to Michelle Ockers of Learning Uncut)

I attended a leadership course a couple of years ago and here are my bullet points I rediscovered while re-organising my reference material (bracketed notes are my thoughts now):

– There is always more than one perspective, you may need to change lenses (this can be tough, especially in a topic you thought you had sorted already but …)
– There’s generally more than one “right” answer (and rather than thinking we were wrong or fell short, maybe we just added a cool new tool to our toolkit.)
– And, building on that, don’t stop at the first “right” answer you find (always ask, at least initially, “And what else …?”)
– Learn to sell your “photos”, or, in management terms, your vision (the “photo” reference may have come from a story in the course which I cannot recall)
– Don’t be afraid to make mistakes (this is a well worn truism, still true though)
– Break the pattern (people maybe more comfortable with unhappiness than uncertainty (Tim Ferris, 4 Hour Work Week, p xx). Breaking the patterns may need broad shoulders for a while. People are comfortable with their own patterns.)
– Reframe the problem to be an opportunity (e.g. what can I learn from this gap?)

Every time we look at what we have done and critically analyse it, we give ourselves the opportunity to learn something new:
– about ourselves and
– about those we work with.