I’m not sure if it was the drugs but the ICU doc sounds awfully like my GP, Todd. I hear him speaking to others in ICU and wonder if Todd has been moonlighting here. I’m trying to catch a glimpse of him but just can’t manage it.
Finally he gets to me and it’s not Todd (unsurprisingly really). His name is John Lewis and he has an Intern and Registrar with him.
He’s here to give me an update on my progress.
“You’re flying!” he says, “It’s going well.” He explains that being so young (55) has its advantages. “You may feel it more but you’ll recover quicker than if you were 75 or 85.”
It gives me some confidence and the day seems better, not just for the diagnosis, but the guy is very upbeat and positive and it rubs off.
I should be out of ICU and in a ward within 24 hours.
With the “panic” the nurse had me in with the AF it was quite the opposite with the next nurse. I asked, timidly, afraid of the answer, if my heart had settled down somewhat.
She said that AF was almost expected after a heart operation.
I conveyed my concerns about it being the end of my life and if the family were going to be called in to say goodbye. (Hey, it felt real to me!)
Well, she laughed and calmed me down. Explaining a bit about AF and,
“No, your family has not been called and don’t be so silly!”
I felt a bit stupid but very much relieved.
I began to concentrate on the tubes going into my body. Three into my stomach, the one in my neck and this box that I was connected to with wires being stuck to me on the outside.
1:16am. Wednesday, 18 July.
The high heart rate is
The nurse seems in a bit of a panic but it could also be that I’ve just come out of a very long sleep.
Nurse: Your heart rate is very erratic!
N: Can’t you feel it?
Me: Er, no.
I try and control my breathing to get my heart under control. No luck! It’s bouncing around 120-130 bpm.
Having never been in this situation before I begin to wonder how serious this is. The nurse is acting like it is very serious.
is this the time they bring the family in to say goodbye?
Matt Mullenweg, the founder of WordPress, has a blog at ma.tt.
He doesn’t post often but I like what he does post and I thought this was worth re-posting, especially when you are going through “stuff”.
So I’m just gonna leave this here. Hope it helps.
Seneca on Friendship
If heart surgery wasn’t enough, I’m booked in for a sleep study. This is to see if I have sleep apnea, which could also affect my heart so may as well get everything looked at.
(Quite) a few forms to fill in.
(Quite) a few:
are you allergic to anything? What is your name and date of birth?
Then all the wires being attached while the nurse makes small talk. Pleasant enough.
Not sure how I’m going to sleep wired up like the bionic man!
Next morning: apparently I did sleep, but not too well according to the results.
Monday, July 9 was my son’s birthday. Friday is the FBH’s. We plan a dinner at
La Capannina’s in Scarborough.
Dinners with the family are one of my favourite events, whether it’s a birthday or not. So, after the couple of week’s we’ve had, we are looking forward to this more than ever.
It’s a wonderful night celebrating Her birthday. She is spoilt for gifts. The kids throw love at Her like it’s going out of fashion.
We stay overnight at the Rendezvous Hotel. A great way to end the week and chill before the week ahead.
Friday, 13 July
There’s another person involved in this journey… the FBH!
I have to deal with the physical, emotional and mental side but she has to deal with the emotional and mental side.
That makes it harder for her in a way. She has to stand by and watch and “make do”. She’ll need support as well and, while I’m recovering, I’m not sure I’ll be the one to supply it.
We discuss this as we head into this change in our lives and tell her how much I feel for her.
I apologise for putting her in this situation.