Do We Need a “Do Not Care” List?

woman jumping wearing green backpack
Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

We all know of the ubiquitous “To Do” list. Most have heard of the “Not To Do” list. But how many of us have a “Do Not Care” (DNC) list?

A DNC list is a way to consciously decide the areas we consciously give energy to and areas we consciously don’t give a toss about!

Allow me to explain…

There are many thing vying for our attention and many of them are promoted to be important. But they’re not!

Scientists have measured the amount of data that enter the brain and found that an average person living today processes as much as 74 GB in information a day (that is as much as watching 16 movies), through TV, computers, cell phones, tablets, billboards, and many other gadgets. [Source]

That’s a lot to manage. 😳 Fortunately, a massive percentage of that goes straight to the subconscious. It bypasses our conscious mind, thank god! But we still feel overwhelmed.

Having a DNC list can save a lot of time and energy; energy we need to cope in the world we live in.

Here’s an example:

The wife and I were discussing Christmas planning. Where and when we had dinner, who was cooking what, who was bringing what and how it was all going to work out. She had her view, I had mine. But the conversation took longer than it needed to! It all ended happily, and we are looking forward to the day with the kids. (I’m sure we are the only people on the planet who get into these types of discussions! 😉)

As I reflected on the conversation, I realised the points I had been making were unimportant. I didn’t really care how Christmas was planned. All I cared about what who was there. I was just trying to be helpful by limiting and unnecessary effort in what is already a busy time of year. But I really didn’t care. I realised I didn’t even value my own opinion. As long as the family is happy and it all makes sense, sure! At the time, I felt I had to have an opinion, and, once given, that had to be given consideration. But, I didn’t really care how Christmas went as long as we were all able to be together at some point and have a family meal. (One part of the family is in Covid quarantine so this isn’t a normal Christmas!)

Now, to I say I don’t care, I’m not meaning to be unfeeling or cold towards others or circumstances. What I mean is, it’s okay to allow others to take the responsibility if that is what they want to do. We don’t have to be the “captain of the world!” Perhaps a situation is out of our control and we have no influence whatsoever over the outcome. Why care?

Another example might be television.

There is some rubbish on the telly, isn’t there? So I’ve decided not to care. I’m not going to scroll endlessly though my subscriptions to Netflix, Prime and YouTube to see if there is something on. I don’t care.

Back to the Do Not Care list.

***This is not intended to be cold and callous***

It is about choosing where I put my emotional, mental and physical energy. It is a form of self care. Why get anxious about things I have no influence over?

A suggestion …

  1. Open up a page in a notebook and think about areas we might normally allow to affect us.
  2. Write down as many items as you can think of in 2 – 3 minutes. (you can add more later)
  3. Now review the list
  4. Put a ‘+’ or a ‘-‘ next to each item.
  5. A ‘+’ means you want to continue paying attention to the topic.
  6. A ‘-‘ signifies a conscious decision not to pay attention to the topic.
  7. The list with ‘-‘ next to them become the DNC list. Each time this come up develop a plan to drop the topic as quick as you can. And move to something you want to focus on.

I’ve started developing an internal statement like this:

“I do not to think about or discuss ‘topic’.”

The Benefits of a DNC List

I remember my Mother-in-Law speaking about someone who had just died. She seemed really upset and I wondered who had passed away. My wife was consoling her but something seemed bit weird about the conversation. My wife quickly let me know: “It’s okay, we’re talking about Days of Our Lives!

I see and work with many people who get distressed about factors and events which they have little to no control over. By deciding what to care about and what not to care about can save a lot of stress anxiety. It then allows room for more joy and happiness to we focus on the things we want to. It also means there is more energy for the things we choose to focus on.

I think it’s time to create a Do Not Care list and be very conscious of where and how use our time.

Over to you …

Do you have a Do Not Care list? Have you had it for a while? Do you think it might benefit you? Maybe you have something like it but refer to it as something else.

Let me know in the comments!

If you found this and other material here useful, consider dropping $1 in the cup! And tell a few friends! 🙏

On Being Productive

I’m not sure when the “self help” industry started and I’m not sure why it started when it did.

Today it’s easy to see why. People are overrun with tasks, deadlines and responsibilities. Not all of which are useful. Many of which could be dropped and no-one would notice.

My productivity journey began in 1996.

I’d just been appointed Human Resources and Sales Manager for a newly developed business unit in a bank. It was termed Direct Banking, where people would call in to have their home loans assessed over the phone. All common place today but back then, major change.

It was very exciting as we worked long hours, changing systems and processes on the go to make sure we kept up with demand and expectations. The adrenalin and achievement was like a drug. We couldn’t wait to get back to it each day.

My manager, a very crusty Welshman who demanded a lot, noticed I was a little chaotic in the midst of all this. He suggested I stop in at McDonalds first thing every day and plan my day.

“What I was going to do? What I was going to achieve?” That was it, nothing more.

I agreed with the idea and so my affair with productivity (and coffee*) commenced.

This small activity made a lot of difference. We had our business plan so referencing that I could easily determine my next actions and explain why if asked.

Three things happened:

  1. The day became a lot clearer and therefore more enjoyable.
  2. My team were also better led because I could give them better guidance and they achieved more.
  3. We began to get ahead of our plans and be ready for the “next thing” – we looked forward to the “next thing”.

Obvious in hindsight perhaps.

But sometimes all we need a small nudge and the world falls into place.

What I was doing at McDonalds was listing my 3 – 5 MITs (Most Important Things). They would be my focus for the day.

They helped me make decisions and guide me throughout the day. If I got distracted, back to the list: “What do I need to accomplish today?”

I then coached others on developing their own MITs.

The term MIT (Most Important Thing/s) is now productivity lore. But it was there all along. The rate of change just gets us bent out of shape sometimes and we can neglect ways a small but powerful activity, either first thing in the morning or last thing at night, can prepare us for the next day.

Q: Do you follow something like this? Do you do something different that is just as effective or more effective?

Let me know.

*Coffee – I’ve transitioned off McDonalds coffee mostly but back then, when it was free re-fills all day, and being on one income, it was a bit of a lifesaver at times. 🙂